My journey to Durban 70.3 was very mixed…I arrived in Durban with a huge amount of self-doubt. I was not convinced I could do the race. I knew I could do the individual distances but not all together. As people around me got more and more excited I got more nervous – I definitely was not caught up in the excitement of the whole event – actually I got worse as the race got closer. If it was not for a very supportive husband (Chris) and the TriFactri team members I would really have struggled to get to the starting block. About two years ago I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder as a result of specific events in my life. I was in and out of hospital with a very strict diet, and different Drs’ trying a variety of medications until I was finally diagnosed and treated accordingly. Being somewhat stubborn and having a strong mind I decided during the middle of last year I no longer wanted to be on strong daily medication and I that would try and manage my anxiety myself. Up until Durban I hadn’t really been in a situation where I could properly test my ability to manage my anxiety disorder……. I FAILED. I failed so badly that it very nearly ruined my whole race experience. It was great having the TriFacTri team members sharing their knowledge and experience and just being part of a wonderful supportive team. Lucie showing us how to run in the sea brought much laughter and relief standing on the beach, Craig explaining how to swim in a rough sea, Jess explaining the currents, Kim giving me good advice in the middle of the ocean about getting on the bike after a rough sea swim, Desi constantly giving me good advice on getting my head straight and of course Chantelle for checking my bags and painstakingly walking me through the transition a number of times until I felt comfortable. All the hugs and support from the team was not what I expected when joining TriFacTri, a team full of very accomplished and experienced athletes. Yet no matter how many times Lucie and the team kept telling me I was ready and I was going to be fine; I struggled to believe this. Come race day and having not slept for two nights, I just wanted to get started and get it over with. I was done with it all. When they cancelled the swim I was so very disappointed; but actually something strange happened…. I suddenly realised that if I was that disappointed then that must mean I wanted to do the race. Wow I wasn’t expecting that feeling. For the first time in weeks I was excited.
I even got a warning for drafting – me drafting – that was just the funniest thing that happened to me all day. If they only knew what a nervous cyclist I am; drafting would never be an option for me...I didn’t even know I could do it – that must mean I am a cyclist. I just loved it and laughed for many km’s after!!!
I came in to transition thrilled and completely amazed with my bike time. I gave Bella the biggest kiss and started the run. It was tough, it was very hot but it was so great to see TrifacTri guys along the route. I ran with some random people and chatted where I could. I gulped down more gels and drank more coke in one day to last me a good few months. I broke the run down into quarters and looked forward to running past my family. It was an amazing experience… I can’t believe I nearly ruined it by not believing in myself. Stepping onto the red carpet reduced me to tears. I might have failed hopelessly in managing my anxiety but I was a complete winner – I did it. I ACTUALLY did it …I really DID IT. Lucie was right…I can do this, I was ready! I just needed to believe in myself.
1 Comment
Shelley Donaldson
6/22/2016 10:15:54 am
Of course you did it - we NEVER doubted you and knew you'd finish it. Not only did you finish it, you ROCKED it!! Your times on the bike and the run were amazing!!!! We believe in you and we're so glad you now believe in yourself!!! What's next??
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Authors:Where Trifactri athletes get to tell their side of the Swim, Bike and Run Archives
May 2018
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